Gamma Knife Round 2 was now a few weeks ago. I have been trying to get some normal schedule into my life – with little success. Every time I appear to have a schedule there is another interruption by a side effect, doctor appointment or simply……..fatigue.
Now, I am not one to let this get to me. After all, ET’s keepers just won’t have it!
I need to tell you about my last Gamma Knife procedure. Many of you think I am the coolest cucumber (insert picture of cucumber) and don’t let any of this rattle me. Well, I got more than rattled, I got earthquaked. And none of it made sense given that I knew what to expect.
Before they attached the head frame, like last time, I was sedated. It was great and I woke up with a slight fuzz. However, it was about an hour before I was to head for the MRI machine (head for the machine – get it?!).
Ok so anyhow…………..by the time the MRI came around I was wide awake. No sedation left for ET. I told the nurse I was very anxious about going in the machine and would like some more sedation. She said see how I did and if I was uncomfortable I should phone home and they would take me out of the MRI. Now remember my dear readers from our last post, not only am I in a head frame but the head frame locks into the MRI helmet and has a cover that goes over that. A claustrophobic’s nightmare. As they snapped me into the MRI machine I began to scream “Take this off” “Take this off” “Get me out of here please!!!”. I was crying and freaking out. Very Very un-Lisa and un-Wonder Woman. A bit ET though.
The nurse got the anesthesiologist (hhmmm ya think?!). At this point I am sitting up, I am crying and 2 men are rubbing my back and trying to calm me down. And then………………like a vision in the distance……………floating towards me comes……ta dah! the anesthesiologist!! It was a slow motion scene with him smiling and holding a needle as he came towards me and I was sooooooooooooooooo relieved.
He gave me a bit of sedation and I woke up post MRI. Thank you whoever invented Fentanyl and Valium. I love you………
Patients should know, it is okay to panic, it is okay to express your fears. If your medical staff poo poos you, you have the wrong medical team. The folks at the Gamma Knife took care of me, calmed me and told me it was okay to be afraid – and it is. They are truly some of the kindest people I have encountered in this crazy metastatic journey.
Oh, another film reference………….DESPICABLE ME.
Obviously this post is not in order of events that happened but me being totally random in my sharing. Before they put the head frame on they put numbing gel where the screws will sit. They cover the numbing gels with clear band-aids and VOILA! Despicable Me!
Finally, with my Ativan in my tummy, I was wheeled into the Gamma Knife machine so the wonderful docs could zap more of those little fuckers invading my brain. And zap they did!
I wore this shirt given to me by one of my colleagues and friends at ADP (thank you Kevin). I thought it was appropriate for Gamma Round 2.
AND THOUGH SHE BE BUT LITTLE
SHE IS FIERCE………….. Shakespeare A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Yes Cancer, I am fierce. And while in physical size I may be little, I am giant in spirit and attitude. I will beat you. I will zap you. I will poison you and I will kill you.
FUCK YOU CANCER! YOU ONLY MAKE ME BIGGER AND MORE FIERCE!